Don't Eat Glass!

Me and my friend Jenni decided to take an A Level in the History of Arsenal football club.  It was taught by one of our College teachers, Ash.  He did a lot of talking and we took a lot of notes and that was that.  Ash has a way of making dull things interesting. (not that Arsenal is dull, mind you)

Unfortunately, someone in the class called Graeme Le Saux didn’t much like the format of these classes so wrote a very angry email to Ash suggesting that all the class members hold a flower during the lecture to make it more interesting.

Everyone has some huge embarrassing incident that happened while they were at school.  For some strange reason, I decided it would be a great idea to pose topless for an English project.

I didn’t realise that we would be presenting our projects to the rest of the class with the help of a projector..

Although I was quite pleased with how the pictures turned out. I seemed to be void of any lumpy bits of flab.  It didn’t necessarily mean that I wanted 25 pairs of eyes to laugh at me seductively wrapping myself around the Union Jack flag…!.

No one said anything to me after class but I begged my teacher to give me back the photos.  Unfortunately for me, she’d already passed them on to my Science teacher, Miss Page.

Who I couldn’t find anywhere.

Because she left.

A new game show was shown in Germany where everyone in the country had to wear a microphone for a week so that it could be discovered what the most used word was.

I have no idea why Germany. But I assume it has something to do with that match from the weekend

People could compete to win the top prize by compiling a top 10 of words they thought would qualify.

Sadly, as with most dreams, I didn’t discover the answer, but I know my list consisted of “the” “and” “time” “Happy Birthday” and “Germany”.

There’s only one thing worse that having this song stuck in your head.

When the people you hang out with have it stuck in their heads too…!

I was in a room that looked suspiciously like a classroom in my primary school. Me and a couple of other people who I didn’t know were.. laying carpet, something I have no interest or talent in at all.

The main problem we were having was that a square of carpet always showed up looking like a patch of dirt. no matter how many carpets we laid down, a brown patch would appear randomly somewhere so we had to keep pulling it up and laying down a new one.

After doing this umpteen times, I suddenly realised that I was missing French with Mr Delfour so had to leave.

Personally, the laying of carpet sounds more appealing than a year 7 french class…

I was shopping with two old school friends, Kelly and Lucy. we were in my local shopping centre looking for a birthday present for my friend, Hossein.  I was starting to panic as the shops would be closing soon and I still hadn’t found a suitable gift.

I ran into Leighton’s Opticians and bought him one of those massive pens that you can write with in any colour.

He’s going to love it!

I can now officially declare that the mascot for the knockout stages of the World Cup will be a chocolate cat shaped like a Cumberland sausage.

Having been on the committee who were in charge of this aspect of the competition, We picked this unusual cat out of six other possibilities. including a giant green metallic robot and a fiery step-ladder.

Please do not eat the cat. Thank you.